COMMENTARY · 13th October 2012
We don’t like you. Why don’t you leave. Just go away.
Words taken almost directly off of Amanda’s video. Today those who started a site to expose the hazards of “Cyber Bullying” used these same words against us and others when we did not conform to their standards.
The Facebook “Cyber-site” was run and moderated by a girl. Amanda was a girl bullied by a girl. Rena Virk was a girl bullied by a girl. There are no greater bully’s today than girls. The standard TV portrayed image of a bully is a fist punching boy. But the truth is much different.
Socially embarrassing someone is a woman’s game. Alienation, ostracism, exclusion are most expertly enacted by females. The knack of being able to use intonation, a gesture or a vocal cue to impart complete loathsomeness is mastered by the female gender.
It is why we have axioms such as “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”.THE COVERT PSYCHOTIC BULLYIN PRAISE OF THE BULLY - BILL C-38 SET TO BECOME LAW
Today we broached the subject of this being an issue women were best suited to address. We were not accusing women of being the problem but rather suggesting women were in the best position
to address the problem. Apparently this brought on “Hells Wrath.”. We were attacked and demonized as being unworthy of being a part of the group and hence forth banned.
The Mission Statement of the site states; This is not a vigilante group nor is this page a place for adults to hash out their political differences. It is simply a place to post resources about ways to deal with bullying and a gathering of people who want to see something done about bullying. Our focus is on children and letting them know that if they are being bullied at school, that they have someone to tell and we will try to help them. We would like to see bullying of all kinds stopped (like workplace bullying for example) but our focus here is on kids in schools…all the way up to seniors in high school. We want to be able to offer help (if only just a listening ear) to parents of both bullied kids and kids who may be behaving like bullies.
If you are being bullied at school or know of someone who is being bullied, you do not need to join the group if you don't want to. Simply inbox one of us and we will do everything in our power to make the bullying stop. Your bully does not need to know it was you who turned them in. We will just say we witnessed something and will talk to the bullies, their parents, the school and the police if necessary. Bullying has to stop. This is our mandate.
I think you will find that a lot of men and women in your community will stand behind you on this...they just need to know about it...tell someone! Facebook could be good for this! But if the person you want to tell is not here, look them up and call them. Tell someone! It's not "tattling!"
We felt we were included as we are part of a gathering of people who want to see something done about bullying.
Attached below is the complete conversation from two threads, without names, except ours. It is an accurate report on what transpired.
It might demonstrate why all of society is doomed, as the movie The Princess Bride describes it, to “The pit of despair”.
We begin with our comment posted on this facebook site, which we appended to our previous article on the Terrace Daily lamenting the death of Amanda. After being challenged we chose to site statistics from a report; The Canadian Incidence Study of reported Child Abuse and Neglect, Final Report published 2001 by the National Clearing House on Family Violence, Health Canada.
After this the venom began in earnest until finally, without any reasonable debate, we were deemed unworthy of being included, kinda like Amanda felt we imagine.
It is a sad state of affairs when one wishes to debate a topic without emotion, to address the subject with calm understanding, how others get offended and turn the debate off.
With people like this we can only expect to see more Renas’ and Amandas’. We either bite the bullet and address the facts or we continue to blame someone or something else.
I expect to see a few children charged and the parents and our society excused.It Begins ThusTerrace Daily
There is little different here from the Rena Virk death in Victoria a few years back. The Bully, once again, was a girl who pushed spineless boys to do their bidding. If the RCMP and society really wishes to address this issue they would look to the parents, primarily the mother, and her social behaviours. Children only want one thing, and that is to be like their mother or father. As most fathers are beaten out of their family life the common factor is the mother. It is the women who can fix this or continue to allow their compatriots to antagonize and manipulate others. Blaming the child is the wrong way to address this, and to only focus on "cyber" is also a distraction from the reality. Malicious social intimidation is the issue and it is learned by the child from our society; computers and facebook are simply another method. We are all to blame. To accuse the child who did exactly what we taught them to do is a crime greater than the tactics she or he used. Women can be leaders/matriarchs or they can cower like spineless men. Without women leading us properly and rightly we are all doomed to repeat this tragedy. Men are powerless to stop this. Only the women can fix this social disease. They must step up and take back their power, and that is not to be social demons but to be compassionate loving responsible mothers. Moderator
i disagree. Let's talk about the child that is molested by a family friend and takes it out on other children,...or the child who is hungry and does the same,... what if there is no mother in the family? it's not fair to generalize a specific sex because they spend more time with their children. children act-out what they see on television, computer games, and social media websites all trying to find a way to fit in and if it happens to be that they find their acceptance amongst a bunch of bullies then they too will bully. There is way more to this issue than what meets the eye. Another contributer
Are men really as powerless as you say, or is it just the easy way out for them? Frankly, I am tired of all the blame being placed on the shoulders of women for the way that children behave. Why are the boys so spineless? Where are their fathers? Moderator
Children do not always go to their parents to tell them what is going on or happening to them,...usually they are the last person they go to because of how they feel. Whether it is a stranger, a family friend, a babysitter, a person in a trust position such as a teacher, a police officer, a grandparent or a parent,...the facts remain that these children act out for a reason not just because they see their parents act in a similar manner,...even the most well-adjusted adult loses it,.. simply not fair to generalize an issue as important as this one. If you are going to be part of the solution you better be prepared to be open-minded and accept the facts that there are things that go on in society that blind-eyes are turned to and those things are more so the cause of bullying than the parents and the way they raise their children. Terrace Daily
From the Canadian Incidence Study of reported Child Abuse and Neglect, Final Report published 2001 by the National Clearing House on Family Violence, Health Canada. Biological mothers in single parent families are documented to have conducted the highest rate of child abuse bar none. Under Emotional Maltreatment, Neglect, Physical abuse, Sexual Abuse the single lone female parent category rated as the highest at 40% substantiated. The two parent biological household is next at 29%. The blended step parent family is is at 18% - The lone male parent has a rate of substantiated abuse rate of only 6% - The statistics speak clearly for themselves.
There are many social factors as well; drug and alcohol abuse along with no social supports boosts these numbers substantially. Also the abuse of Native kids is highest. We all have a problem to seriously address. Ignoring or hiding from the facts is the first way to go wrong.
Another couple disturbing stats, sexual abuse, single mom is 33% - single dad is 3% On Neglect? Mom 49% Dad 6% -
Another disturbing fact, 80% of successful suicides are committed by men. Where are the men? Running away from dysfunctional women. It is up to the women to resolve their issues together. A man is called a misogynist when he attempts to discuss the truth.
So girls, it is up to you, we men, are at a loss. One attempt to straighten out a serious family abuse issue and guess who ends up in jail. No, you are right, men would rather abandon ship to avoid jail and a criminal record, then come and help the child when they reach the age of majority. You are not alone, men will help, but you have to face reality first.
Find the study and read it for yourself. Available at Health Canada somewhere www.hc-sc.gc.ca/nc-cn
at least that is where it was in 2002. Terrace Daily
Oh, and the details I quoted are from table 7-1 on page 74 Moderator
statistics are crap,....they are nothing more than a polling,..in order for them to be actually factual and not based on estimation is if they polled every single household in Canada. Try real life for a change,...by pass the bs,...look around you,...do you think the people in this community are nothing but a statistic? families are seeking relief via alcohol and other means,... mass depression,... really,... try working the front lines for more than the odd ride with the cops and then you will see exactly what i mean,... reason i did my job well was because i knew there was more to the story than what i was being told and once i explained that i couldn't help them properly without knowing the truth,...then my clients were more upfront,..and i could help them.... you report the news but do you actually investigate the why? I have seen more in my 45 years then i care to acknowledge and i know from EXPERIENCE what our people go thru on a day to day basis,... no band-aid solutions here my friend. Terrace Daily
Please do not attack me. That is a bully tactic. I am only relating the pure facts gathered from years of study. These were not "poll" results they were gathered from all the social services agencies across Canada. It is a very comprehensive report. You might learn some more interesting details from a read of it. If you wish, I do have two copies and I would lend you one.
People are beautiful, yes, they are not a statistic. We could do ourselves a really good turn by looking for all the opinions and ideas to address this very serious problem. I am only offering my thoughts. I am not attacking anyone. My thoughts are simply how the female half of our species could do well by assisting other females in their difficult situations. PMS is not only something to be discussed in a comedy sketch. Moon lodges were part of First Nations culture years ago. Indians knew truth, what is wrong with truth? And you are so very right; a Band-Aid will not work here. It is a very serious and scary topic to fully address. It is social turmoil if we actually wish to address it. This, in my opinion, is why we will attempt to punish a couple kids. Moderator
omg,... i find it funny that you are trying to make me see a point that i know exists but in a differing manner than you do,...i can agree to disagree,,..can you? i find my comments to be far from bullyingTerrace Daily
You wrote; "Try real life for a change", and then; "you report the news but do you actually investigate". These are personal attacks. Unnecessary. I commend you, I do not attack you. I have spent the last 40 years studying and investigating almost every facet of life. This is why I have a copy of the report I cited. It is a 180 page report gathering statistics of 7,672 child maltreatment investigations. An estimated 135,573 child maltreatment investigations were carried out in 1998. The report only details on the substantiated abuse findings. Yes I investigate, and thoroughly. Some just do not like the findings. Please do not attack me for my points of discussion. Moderator
i live in terrace, and i have not only personally experienced what you describe in your list of statistics but i have also seen how traumatized/ victimized others have been and i can promise you that it was not due to the cause of every single mother in this town. I resent that you feel the need to point a finger at the women of this world as the cause of every injustice. i added you in the hopes that you would support our cause but instead you denigrate it by pointing the finger at woman and at me. I suggest that you report more of the facts and less statistics because i always admired you for exactly that,...for reporting the facts about real life and not what the government imposes on us as fact. Moderator
your statistics cannot describe the horror a child faces when they live in a world that doesn't protect them, when they have no one to turn to or the one they could turn to is gone,..or their predator has threatened to do harm to their family,...all we are trying to do is provide a venue for them to seek help be it with educational information,... or a shoulder to lean on,... if you can't respect or understand that. please feel free to leave. Terrace Daily
I am not pointing a finger. I am presenting a factual report on our society. The problem is serious and it is not with women. It is with our need, as I wrote extensively on
, to be admired for our possessions, speech and friends. I wrote about the detailed statistics to add another dimension to the discussion, not to be attacked. We must be prepared to travel all paths to find a solution to this very real problem. If you yell at people because you do not like what they are saying it is not a problem with the speaker. Address the issues, and as Bill stated, no ad hominum attacks please. Moderator
what you did was point the finger directly at woman using your statistics as backup and i as a woman have the right to resent that, don't i? i stand for all the woman who feel the same way that i do. I have the right to stand up and say I am woman and how dare you? Moderator
and really How dare you? Moderator
you are the only person who came in here and decided to point our that your statistics prove that it is all the womans fault because men are "beaten out of the relationship". what did you expect? applause? seriously. i am done arguing my points on this. i earlier agreed to disagree and that is all the compromise i choose to offer. Another commenter
Terrace standard, you are a sheeple. If you truly believe the garbage that you just spewed out then you are no better than the elite who poison our society. First the men are not beaten out of their families their sick choices and hump ass attitude screws them out of a family.....and then to blame the mothers who are fighting to feed children when dead beat dads don't pay the child support...(jumping in your face with rebuttal), you are sooooo miss lead by your ignorance...not even going into this with you...you should just leave. Your politics will not be welcome here. Grrrrrrr Terrace Daily
"How dare you" is not part of a reasoned argument. It is an attack without substance. And I did not say it was all the woman’s fault. I raised an issue and you took it as a personal attack. What you could have done is asked to see the study and present a reasoned response. You chose to personally attack me instead. Amanda would be ashamed to see those who pretend to fight for her, act just like those who shamed her to death. Terrace Daily
Oh and now it falls to name calling. Wow, this is really something. Moderator
well i never claimed to be a scholar in fact i got my schooling on the streets of hard knocks by choices I made and i do not feel that i personally "Attacked" you. Amanda is being used by people like you to further their own opinions. let her rest in peace,. if her death is going to be used for anything it should be to initiate change which is all we are trying to do. so please,..please please please,...leave us to do that instead of continually antagonizing this situation. Moderator
and really the only reason i posted this news release was for the links located at the bottom of the page for suicide prevention and the like. Moderator
to provide resourceful information not to defend myself nor to get into a political discussion with a reporter. Another commenter
Moderator, delete this fellow. He is not about love. He is about statistics and nothing more. One has to learn accountability. He is taking from this site. Terrace Daily
I'm sorry; I do not understand how I am antagonizing anything. And yes you did attack me and told me to leave. Do you not see this? And this is not political; it is about our children and our future. We need to discuss these issues with an open mind, be willing to travel any path to find a solution to children taking their lives and other children pushing them to it. A great psychologist once suggested we take ten long deep breaths when we feel agitated. It might help you gain perspective here. Moderator
i told you you were welcome to leave,...no one is forcing you to stay or go,...it is your choice,.
In saying that,... you are right,..it is about our children,..and about their future,...our time,..as old as we are,..is limited,... open minded? i am as open minded as one can get when it comes to real life experiences and facts. just because i chose to disregard statistics does not make me any less knowlegible than you Moderator
i will not make this site about me or about my personal experiences nor will i use a child who committed suicide to emotionally blackmail someone into adhering to my point of view which u have done on more than one occasion. i have the right to disagree with you and i do so. Terrace Daily
I think you should read the cards she held up in front of the camera. Look for the ones where she wrote what others said to her. They demonized her and told her to leave, just like you are doing to me for being an individual thinker with a point of view different than yours. Unable to post comment. And a second thread of discussion from the same siteModerator
wow i gotta respond to these comments and the posts i am receiving in my inbox.
first of all,... this is not the place to air our political differences but that is what is happening and i apologize. i am a passionate person when it comes to this type of issue. i can't help but try to get my message across but i am starting to feel the need to defend myself and for what?
If you feel offended and no longer want to be a part of this group,..please feel free to leave. A bully would force you to stay,... we are not bullies although you have accused us of this.
Our goal remains the same,..to provide a resource for those either being bullied or seeking information regarding bullying and to provide support for those who are bullied or just need someone to reach out to that is not a part of their situation. if you cannot respect that,... please do us the favor of leaving.
Thank youTerrace Daily
Telling people who challenge your particular point of view to leave is the same as the children who told Amanda no one likes her. This is shameful.Moderator
Seriously? i could toss that right back at you. you are bullying me and others into accepting what you have to say as fact and expecting the woman of this group to lay down and accept responsibility because the government says so? our own government hasn't got the resources to help these children because they keep puling funding from the very things we require,..healthcare,..social services, housing and the list goes on and on.
I may generalize and suggest that we all take a look around us and see the reality rather than pay attention to statistics put together by those who would rather write a report than actually spend the money and go out into the frontlines and help these children; but that is my right and you have no right to bully me into changing my beliefs simply because you disagree. Therefore if i was bullying you i wouldn't suggest you leave i would threaten you and then ban you off this site,...that has not occurred has it?Terrace Daily
I have not suggested anyone accept my point of view as fact. I presented evidence to support a contention. On a personal note, as you draw on your personal experiences, I have two children who were beaten by their mother. Slapped, punched, thrown across the room, dislocated arm etc etc. numerous hospital visits. She suffered severely from PMS. My daughter was the youngest child ever to be suspended from her school for bullying. She simply emulated what her mother, auntie and grandmother displayed. She did not know it was wrong. I have a 30 page Section 15 child custody and access report from the most senior Child Psychologist in Canada that stated I should have sole custody and all her access should be supervised. A wealthy family, (her parents), fired her lawyer (the one who selected Dr. Mackenzie Elliot), and hired another to trash him and me. I haven't seen my children now for ten years. I know of what I speak. You are writing with a touch of anger. Please stop for a moment and consider what you write. Compassion means attempting to understand the other person’s point of view. I only wish to impart my knowledge on the matter.Moderator
well now that you have shared this story i can understand why you feel the way you do and i hope that you can extend the same to the rest of the group. We all have our viewpoints on the causes and affects but they are differing and true. i have no faith in statistics because these statisticcs are supposed to represent every household in the country but in fact,..they poll and they leave out pertinent information and they truly do not want explanations or a reason for the answer you give,..and unsure is not an optionTerrace Daily
Oh Moderator, you need to read this report. It leaves out nothing. No guess work, no assumptions, a completely factual study on dead and abused kids. And please do not assume you understand how I think or how I come to my opinions from this one story on my experience. It is much greater and more involved than this. I buried my children’s loving stepmother after years of court. Women are loving beings, as are men; it is just that some destroy our children’s future. We need to identify and isolate these people.Another commenter
Sorry, Terrace Daily, I have to respectfully disagree with you. This is not the same at all. I'm sure what the moderator is saying is that you have a choice to go or to stay and keep on pressing your point of view. This topic is not about whether or not apples are better than oranges, we are discussing very sensitive subjects here, we react in the ways we do because we have our own personal histories that affect our perspectives. Everybody is different. Nothing wrong with a good argument. However, if you do bring PMS into the equation, it will even rile me up a little.....just saying...Another commenter
A mother does not constitute a nation of women. And by the way, most women are suffering from heavy metal toxicities, fungal overload, parasite infestation, bacterial and viral infections. This is a description of the silent pandemic that has reached billions and the government is covering it up. As well, men who do not support the women are just as much at fault for abandonment and neglect with leave the children is just as much as a devastated situation. Every parent has to hold themselves accountable for the poor outcome of the relationship. No one person is at fault. I am sorry if you feel like you are being bombarded by others on here, but don't think blaming or playing a victim to blame is the way to get a point across. Father pain is one of the biggest reasons why people seek counseling in their adult lives.Moderator
just as some men destroy our children's futures,..i am sure you realize that your statistics probably state that most children that are sexually abused are abused by men while the mother stands by and does nothing out of fear because he has beaten her to a bloody pulp on more than one occasion,...again,..i agree to disagree.Terrace Daily
No, that I cannot agree with. That is the TV version of the truth. The stats state the highest rate (sexual abuse) is by "other relative" substantiated 59% of the time. And that is the only abuse stat (physical, neglect, emotional and sexual) where the biological mother does not rate the highest with the highest rate of substantiation. Are facts too difficult to accept and address? Maybe this is why we have a bully problem year after year after year, because the truth is just too difficult. As one great author wrote, "It is not what we don't know that gets us into trouble; it is what we know for sure that just ain’t so."Moderator
tv version? seriously? that is a real life experience for many,.. i have to commend you, you have succeeded, i am completely disheartened and you are now banned.
Even though we were banned from even viewing the site, we were able to access it later using another’s facebook account. The Moderator has left some of our comments up and deleted our responses to their challenges. It is worse than bullying, it is an abuse of the process, the discussion and the site, it leaves us sounding to others visiting this facebook site, as if we did not address the challenge. Please moderator, if you must exert complete control over others comments, delete them all, don’t manipulate the comments to appease your self centered righteousness. We remain ashamed of some of the people we live among.
Just like in the movie 'A Few Good Men' where Jack Nicholson abruptly yells, “The truth, you want the truth? You can’t handle the truth” However in this case it is not a movie, our children are killing themselves.
Comment by James Ippel on 20th October 2012
I was quite taken aback by your comment to Rosanne. "Thank you for your time, and please do noy use our website and forum for ""PERSONAL ATTACKS"" as that which was perpetrated on me in your forum."
What would you call your comments when you statements you directed at me: "You do not have a "CRANIUM" large enough to to know what is going on in Terrace", or you do not have the "COMMON SENSE " to understand what is happening in Terrace. This was referring to comments about David Edwarsen and the Drug Trade.
I took these comments as a Personnal attack, but did not make an issue of it. Too bad you have to when you are attacked.
I find you can find support for your opinions through various links, but do you ever find opposing comments which you do not publish?
There are some women who speak honestly
Comment by Merv Ritchie on 19th October 2012
Click on the audio file at the end of "The Covert Psychotic Bully" article linked at the top of this article. Listen to a group of Women talking freely and openly on CBC.
Comment by Stacey Tyers on 19th October 2012
Merv, I would argue that your stats that show a woman is more often the abuser is because significantly more women are parenting on their owns with little to no support. Not because they have been beaten out of the home, but because they have high tailed it out of there and many (not all) to avoid responsibility, fail to pay child support etc..
Please don't make men the victims or saints in this debate. Because though there are some great men who would stick around and maybe didn't because of fault of something else or were forced out, there are still FAR too many shunning their responsibilities.
Merv Responds; Once Again, though I fail to see why this is so difficult to comprehend, these are not MY stats. One could take the time to read the report. The link was provided.
And here we see once again, an assuption based on ppersonal perception and personal experience "Far too many [men] shunning their responsibilities" - when we have a serious long term, cross Canada, study demonstrating something quite different. A study of tens of thousands of cases.
And again, this is not a men vs woman issue, so please do not make it this. This is an opportunity to look at the bullying issue in a greater, more inclusive of thoughts, in more light. As I stated earlier, if we really want to address the problem, we need to look deeper.
Attempting to solve the problem by repeating the things we have tried for the past four or five decades, expecting a different result, well that is the definition of insanity.
And what of the stats of suicides by men, any insight on this or shall we pretend that doesn't exist too? It is not Dead Beat Dads, in my perception it is Beat Dead Dads!
Men do not run from their children.
Coffee smells good this morning.
Comment by Merv Ritchie on 18th October 2012
One might re-read the opening statement.
Never was it said, "All bullying is caused by women"
What was said was;
It is the women who can fix this or continue to allow their compatriots to antagonize and manipulate others.
Women know who among them need help, this is where the word 'compatriots' comes in.
Also said was;
Without women leading us properly and rightly we are all doomed to repeat this tragedy.
This was stated just before the words;
Men are powerless to stop this.
I have the deepest respect for all women and matriarchs. My grandmothers, (both) and my mother were fabulous loving nurturing women and would fight to the death to protect their children from harm.
I do not hide, and never have. I attached statistics to provide context and to assist in educating, not in blaming all woman.
If 100 people are in a room and only one person, a child under ten years old, was wearing a yellow shirt, the statistic is; 100 percent of the people wearing a yellow shirt, were under ten years old.
The statistics provided were a representation of the facts and were never meant to indicate every woman was an abuser. Nor then does it mean, in the above example, every child under ten was wearing a yellow shirt.
We expect educated people would understand this.
Also written was;
Only the women can fix this social disease. They must step up and take back their power
And this means to return to their rightful place of supreme authority as was formerly the manner of the Northwest Coastal Nations. Men are powerless to stop this as it is Mom who rules the roost and guides her children.
Men must also be part of the solution, but also must defer to their woman. It is only the disrespectful among us all that need to be checked, and that is in the hands of the woman.
I dare any man to attempt to stop an abusive woman. Only women can do this. A man who tries will likely find himself behind bars, which is supported by the stats too. 80% of the population in jail are men and 80% of the suicides are men. Can anyone provide an explanation for this discrepancy besides claiming "Men are just plain bad"?
This is where that context come from, Men are powerless to stop this.
Accusing me of hiding from anything is a bit rich.
Inappropriate use of negative stereotypes against woman
Comment by David on 18th October 2012
There's absolutely nothing wrong with Merv's comments, per se, just as there's nothing wrong with similar comments made by racists on anti-Zionist websites. After all, "freedom of expression" is a cherished protected right under the Charter.
However, the purpose of the forum was to talk about bullying. Instead of hiding behind a bunch facts and figures I think it would have been much more helpful if Merv had explained how he has come to this view that all bullying is caused by woman and men are "powerless" to stop it. Perhaps he had a really mean mom or aunt or older sister or something? This is what should have been posted, then at least readers would understand where he is coming from. If a person has been traumatized in the past, by all means get it off your chest.
I found Merv's postings no less offensive than if some raving radical feminist (like me) had claimed that bullying is done exclusively by men and that women are powerless to do anything. This forum was not an appropriate place for these words. Stick to the true story behind your hatred of women so that readers will understand the source of your hatred.
And the Anti Bullying group just keep on supporting attacks
Comment by Terrace Daily on 17th October 2012
The Bully’s snipe and talk nasty behind others backs. Is this what causes people such distress in their lives they commit suicide, gangs of people attacking them?
Here is the way these people have continued on.
I am closing the group to the general public because a certain newsgroup (The Terrace Daily) decided to cut and paste comments from this page to further his (Merv) view that all women are the blame for bullying because men are beaten out of their homes... anyone else disagree with this? (Yes, Merv does because he never said that)
he even had "statistics" to support his view. (No – These were statistics from the Canadian Incidence Study of reported Child Abuse and Neglect, Final Report published 2001 by the National Clearing House on Family Violence, Health Canada. A serious report, one produced, funded and participated in by over 700 child welfare workers, the child welfare league of Canada and numerous other agencies and professionals who are specifically interested in the mental and physical health of our children) i disagreed with him and i will continue to disagree with him and if that makes me the bully he has portrayed me in his news article please tell me,...i'm not immune to constructive criticism. (Apparently you are because all of the critiquing we offered was constructive and polite)
Ang Elina Car Good luck with that...use to not be able to once it exceeded a specific size of 300ish I believe
Rosanne Pearce This change is being done to protect the integrity of the group.
I sure hope they have changed that Ang
Ang Elina Car I wanted to lock Alex's group up once her killer was caught because the media was taking comments without consent. was not able to
Carmen Jerome Close the group Rosie! This is bull! I can't believe the nerve of other's! (What? The nerve to have an opinion or to offer a different point of view on how to help children?)
Ang Elina Car Oh you can change it now...great stuff!
Rosanne Pearce Group privacy can only be adjusted to a more restrictive setting for large groups.
Rosanne Pearce i can't change it back lol
Ang Elina Car so you can no longer go open?
Rosanne Pearce no but that is fine,... we can still add members they just need to be approved by an admin,...even if one of the others isn't available i will be most times as i am always online. the same applies for someone who needs help.
Ang Elina Car I just want to know the functionality for Alex's groups...Last October when Keene was arrested we had NO functionality at all.
Rosanne Pearce i think you should be able to close the group to the general public but it will be permanent i also made it so the admins had to approve new members but that all members could suggest new members and people wanting to join can.
Catriona McNeill Disagree?? I don't even know what that means or what he's talking about??!?!?! I think making this a private group, that only Admins can add people too is a good idea, saves having all those trolls coming in. (Ms. McNeill, if you took a moment to attempt to comprehend the discussion. Pretend a child was offering you a suggestion, would you yell at him, castigate him, ban him out of the house? Maybe this is what the Child welfare workers discovered, parents who acted this way. And maybe the children then takes this learned behaviour to the school yard, and then maybe a child gets so depressed from the hateful attacks they kill themselves. Follow the bread crumbs girls.)
Louise Jacobs Standing your ground while someone is attacking you, doesn't make you the bully. ( Yes, but attacking someone who simply talked politely and offered a new point of view, someone who even commended you, yet was still attacked, is bullying. And getting her friends to join in on the attacks, oh, sounds like what happened to Amanda. It was Merv who was politely standing his ground while being vilified.)
Bill Vollrath Yeah, that's good. Let's leave it alone now. I rebutted him over at his website. Much better to not argue who's to blame for whatever here. That's what ticked us off yesterday...They weren't offering constructive criticism or any positive ways to combat bullying...just trying to lay blame... (That is correct Bill, you admit the truth, you were “ticked off” and through this “ticked off” anger (like a parent “ticked off” at his or her child, we were punished. You did not offer “rebuttal all over” the Terrace Daily. You offered nothing but more ad hominum attacks, which you demanded people not use on your “Anti Bully forum, and then used another attack, “Guilt by Association”. You even employed name calling. Merv was not laying blame, he was offering a fresh new angle. By reading the contributions, along with the statistics we can now say, “We Rest Our Case” These gals are supporting the statistics. Bad Behaviour All Around.)
Comment by Rosie on 16th October 2012
seriously Merv,..what does it matter in the grand scheme of things? I'm not scholarly like you are.
facts are facts. bullying exists. Those who prefer to point fingers rather than find solutions will do nothing but point fingers.
I don't care how you twist things to further your own agenda,... in fact it's very successful of you to take the good intent of a group and twist it and then make comments, some hurtful at that; you can say you offered an alternative view but in my eyes and the eyes of others it was sexist and pointed.
You may think that you did not disregard the views of others but you did when you stated our points relating to women being beaten into submission were TV Reality; i guess i can say thank God you are one of the few that have never witnessed that sort of the thing and i pray you never have too.
I still disagree with you and i will continue to disagree with you because my "tv reality" is LIFE for many.
A 32 year old man sexually exploits an 11 year old girl in one of the most vilest acts on the internet and here we are arguing who is at fault?!?
The intent of our group is to do what we can to prevent those kinds of things from happening and no doubt,..we probably can't at this moment in time but we sure as heck can try, and maybe as a group we can find some answers, some solutions, some effective tools,...
what you are doing is just wasting everyone's time,..why? because your picking on a group who has nothing but the best of intentions,... why not pick on those groups that don't? like the ones spewing hate speech at Amanda Todd or the ones saying she deserved it,..the ones that don't have their facts straight,...
really,..is our group really worth the time you are taking to denigrate it publicly?
Merv RespondsOnce again, though you seem to avoid it, I was doing exactly what your group was asking for, finding a way to stop this bullying. I was trying to help. I was not pointing fingers nor denigrating the group. When I began getting attacked I only pointed out that I was being attacked for offering something to look at, an avenue to consider.
And once again you assume. I have seen and experienced much of what you describe. I have rescued children and gone to court for children. I only mention TV in the context of your statement -i am sure you realize that your statistics probably state that most children that are sexually abused are abused by men while the mother stands by and does nothing out of fear because he has beaten her to a bloody pulp on more than one occasion
When I replied with the accurate reality of the situation facing children, you became so personally offended you banned me. The reality is most of the sexual abuse is suffered on children by close family or close friends, not their parents, not the father or the mother.
I understand the difficult job in protecting children. I lived in Martinsville, Saskatchewan, in the 80's when the alleged children ritual sexual abuse scandal broke out there. The horror and outrage you feel is understandable. But you need to take a break and regain some perspective. You do not even recognize it when you attack others. I am not an abusive man nor do I abuse children, so please stop attacking me because I have a different opinion on how to address this problem, which we are both very passionate about.
And as a foot note, I have personally been close to many suicides. One I feel partially responsible for as I knew the young man well. Many men who were involved in traumatic child custody disputes where the mother kept the children away from them, a boss who blew his brains out after a bullying wife tormented him, and a nephew we buried in Greenville a couple years back. My first experience was my best friends mother who I loved dearly. My second suicide was my neighborhood friend when I was 14, we used to play together. I even bear a scar from a play fight we had. He jumped off the highest building he could access in Saskatoon. You, my dear, have your experiences, and I have mine. In this case, this discussion, we are discussing the causes of suicide. I have thought about this and studied it my entire life. You disregard my thoughts at the peril of our children.
The Great Truth
Comment by Danny Nunes on 15th October 2012
That even after myself and others left the page...People were still being bullied and having there posts deleted for just suggesting home schooling as an option for combating bullying and I have a copy of the deleted post as proof if even one of these moderators denies it.
The anti bullying page has now also been made a closed group not open to the public and now only members chosen or allowed by said moderators can be part.
So in high school terms...this is the equivalent of kids in the cafeteria telling other students only the cool kids can sit at the popular table and anyone not part of the group has to sit at the end of the cafeteria...LOL...LOL./..oh LOL the hypocrisy.
I tell you folks whether its facebook, the dailies, or any online forum I am always entertained by the drama and the lulz that ensue.
Facebook loves this stuff: They get a 24-7 soap opera they can run ads against and people supply it with free content...neat huh!
I myself am now emotionally divorced from it all and folks I have never felt better!
Facebook...great place to play a game while you crank your favorite music on headphones and really...that's it.
No one wants to be honest anymore...its all PR and backtracking and wanting someone to love them....Like my post...like my status...like my photos..like me like me...acknowledge me....let me vent myself.
I can safely say I am an ass...to some...to others a role model...maybe even a hero or the epitome of evil...its all subjective folks....no right or wrong hate to break it to you.
One mans free speech is another's hate speech.
How others see me is irrelevant...who decides whats right? whats wrong? is conformity correct? I thought we were all supposed to strive for individuality? does the majority determine it? That has backfired in horrific ways throughout history.
You see everyone wants someone else to like or love them, they want to be seen as something greater than they are.
Heck the trouble I get into has always been because one way or another I wanted to please someone else at the expense of myself and I learned a valuable lesson.
That's right everyone...screw society
You see if you're always having to concede or censor or give up something of your self for someone else...your a doormat...screw it.
For years now I and a fellow friend or two try to help, try to promote, highlight discuss and you know what?...you get nowhere....others want to impose, or restrict or alter...not a compromise or helping hand anywhere...take take take....or do it for me I don't have the balls to do it..be my grenade.
I speak from experience when I say left or right wing politics, religions, ethnicity or some other new group to point out a specific difference in the end folks I can tell you all have one thing in common...you are all full of it!
This week I deleted and removed the vast majority of my friends list on Facebook...some took it as a personal slight, others were offended...yet others assumed our friendship was over...this is how screwed up our world is when a cyber connection is more real than one outside of it.
I have never been happier now. I am detached from it and can simply just sit back and watch the freak show and take notes.
George Carlin said if your born into society your born into a freak show and if you're born in America...you get a front row seat.
I may not have a front row seat but I can enjoy the show.
Sure I like to stir the crap up now and then for my own personal amusement but at least I am honest enough once again to say it...I don't need a well crafted PR speech to deflect away from my words...the one person I never lie to is myself.
I am also someone who keeps his word whenever I say something. I told the Kitimats Politics page on facebook that I would never return or post a comment again because I had come to the end of my belief in Kitimat or its system...I have kept my word.
I also withdrew from the Kitimat Daily...and have kept my word.
& I keep my word now that I will not comment ever again on any other forum on the internet again...its just an addiction that's killing society and I can break my own addiction to a medium that does more harm than good but can others do the same?
In closing I ask that if this comment receives any replies and are personal attacks, threats or just plain old fashioned gossip, lies or hate, and they come anonymously,...I give you full permission to post them for all to read.
I don't fear the true bullies of society. I am not going to hide under a bed for fear of the societal boogeymen who want me to do what they want at the cost of myself.
So yell and scream and post comments all you want online. Heres my personal e-mail... kitimatsketchcomedy at hotmail.com
Send me all the hate and opinion you can muster...call me a hole, loser, faggot, tell me to kill myself.
Send all that, and in the end I will still be standing alive and well.
And when you use quotation marks, use the quote
Comment by Merv Ritchie on 15th October 2012
Three quotes you attribute to me are not entirely accurate. The context is wrong as are the words.
"men beaten out of their homes"
came from this statement, a sentence that included these words, here reproduced accurately.
As most fathers are beaten out of their family life . . .
The full sentences are; Children only want one thing, and that is to be like their mother or father. As most fathers are beaten out of their family life the common factor is the mother. It is the women who can fix this or continue to allow their compatriots to antagonize and manipulate others.
"women should learn to show more compassion"
must have been derived from this statement;
Only the women can fix this social disease. They must step up and take back their power, and that is not to be social demons but to be compassionate loving responsible mothers.
Or possibly this statement as it is the only other place I used the word compassion during our exchange;
Compassion means attempting to understand the other person’s point of view.
"statistics show more woman are the abusers than men"
and those quotation marks are around something you made up. I provided numerous statistics written in "The Canadian Incidence Study of reported Child Abuse and Neglect, Final Report published 2001 by the National Clearing House on Family Violence, Health Canada" but never wrote such words as you attribute to me with these quotation marks. In fact I clearly distanced myself from such a blanket statement.
If I, as a reporter or journalist, misappropriated such statements I would be sued.
Dearest Rosanne, Once again, I commend you for what you do.
Comment by Merv Ritchie on 15th October 2012
I have never attacked you, critiqued you or called you names; nor have I “tired to force” stats down your throats or demanded you accept anything; my opinion or anything else.
I offered a different manner, a new way, in which to consider the root causes of bullying.
I did not refuse to acknowledge your argument either.
All the things you claim to have knowledge of are real to you and to so many others. I began my introduction to your debate with an alternative point of view only. And further I did not accuse all single mothers or all women as the problem here (or blame them).
As is the case in all stereotypes, it is a very small percentage of any grouping who are responsible.
Immediately after I introduced this topic I was belittled and attacked for offering my thoughts. Then when I backed up my statements with a serious report, one produced, funded and participated in by over 700 child welfare workers, the child welfare league of Canada and numerous other agencies and professionals who are specifically interested in the mental and physical health of our children, I was further attacked, as was the report; a report you had never taken a moment to consider.
I did not take anything from the intent of the group for any personal purpose. I attempted to share my insight into what I consider to be a foundational problem, something at the core of the problem your group wishes to address and resolve.
What I do note however is on your group you have already all but apologized. You might do that more fully here too. As you wrote;
I am going to make a very specific request,... i want everyone to take a deep breath and then i want us all to tell ourselves that anything said in this group shall not be taken as a personal attack unless it is obviously and directed specifically at yourself.
Yesterday, 3 different people took offense over a post i made,..and honestly so did i; specifically over the generalization that women are the reason we have bully's...not quite what he said but that is how i took it; mostly because he said men were beaten out of the home,... facts are that there ARE bad teachers, bad cops, bad kids, bad parents and so on...but let's not get inclusive because they are those like all of us and others too.
My point is,..its occurring again today,... let's not take it personal,.... in fact let's stand proud for who we are,...whether a teacher, an advocate, a person of authority, whichever.... we are the hope the children can hang on to while we find a way to fix this.....we are here for one reason and one reason only,...well two,...to support those being bullied, and to find the tools for change to end bullying forever.
Thank you for that.
Children learn good manners and good responsible behaviours when they witness adults owning up to their own shortcomings.
Bully’s come in all forms, shapes and sizes. And Bully’s perform their actions for many different reasons. I have addressed this in numerous previous writings which I provided links to in the earlier writings. We all have a point of view and no one should be attacked for having one. That is what Bully’s do.
Thank you for your time, and please do not use our website and forum for personal attacks as that which was perpetrated on me in your forum.
Comment by Joseph K on 15th October 2012
It seems to me that there is a little bully going on here. Merv - statisics can be manipulated.
Ladies - bulling is not a gender issue girls do it and so do boys. How they each do it is the key. Please re-focus to the issue at hand.
We can all do something in regards to bullying.
My boys are 6 and 2 and I am the following to them: 1st a parent. 2nd a father. 3rd a friend.
I try to be the example. I want my children to be able to stand up for themselves. To believe in what is right. Yes even if it means they are wrong. That is to show they have conviction in what they believe. To show compassion to others and to stand up for the ones that cannot. I believe in volunteering and in chartiy. I give what i can in time and money.
If my boys were bulling another child, believe me i will do everything possible to correct it. If my child is bullied, watch out. I will be the first to defend and protect my child.
disappointed and far from ashamed...
Comment by Rosie on 15th October 2012
"men beaten out of their homes"
"women should learn to show more compassion"
"statistics show more woman are the abusers than men"
You refused to acknowledge our argument that Real life is not reflective of the stats you provided and instead twisted everything to suit your needs.
Real life for the children who are abused is nothing like one sees on TV. The screams you hear on TV will never be as deeply ingrained as the screams from a child who has been burnt or the screams from a child who has been beaten and left in its own filth for days on end,...it doesn't show the mother who has been beaten every time she has tried to intervene.
Maybe no one would of taken offense had you not tried to force your stats down our throats as proof of your belief that all women are to blame.
You have taken the good intent of this group and twisted it into something to suit your needs and i have to tell you that you did not deter us from continuing with our goals in fact, you only strengthened our resolve to find ways to do what we can to help all persons who are bullied.
So, blame everything on God, heh?
Comment by MaggieJo Johnson on 15th October 2012
I thought we were the Superior Race who didn't need God in our lives.
Apparently, not so. Cuz as soon as things turn sour and we fall...we suddenly remarkably turn to 'believing in God' just to simply blame God for everything. PWA!!! Okay, this is hilarious. Even the aliens would be ashamed of us.
We narcasssitic humans are so pathetic it's not even funny. 'Always turning the guilt/accountability to someone else other than ourselves.
Hmmm...I suppose in our human weaknesses, deep down inside...maybe we really do believe in God, cuz we sure do darn well BLAME God for everything that we do... and all the things we fail to do!
How many times did we parents know there was bullying go on at school...and did NOTHING! And then we blame God when things turn bad?!
Well, at least I'm off the hook here. Phewf. No eternal flames flapping at MY feet...cuz everything is God's fault. (Heavy sigh of relief here.)
The Victim Mentality
Comment by Bill Vollrath on 15th October 2012
It was obvious to me and some other members of the Parents & Volunteers Against Bullying group on Facebook, the there were 3 or 4 people behind you, Merv Ritchie, whose intent it was to shut people up and shut down this new group because you think there is nothing that can be done by everyday, ordinary people to eradicate or even put a dent in the issue of bullying. There are many people at the group who don't know what they can do but they are willing to hear ideas and brainstorm ideas at least. But then you folks come in there with your guns a-blazin', pointing out everyone's failings and accusing everyone of being the reason bullying exists...It's women's fault, it's the teacher's fault, it's the parent's fault, it's the fault of the political sytem, etc, etc, etc. One of you even said that unless we are willing to "give up our concepts of left and right in politics" then bullying will continue because kids are just copying us as we argue over social and political issues! A few of the threads quickly became about people defending themselves against your allegations and at that point, it was way beyond the scope of what the group was intended for. Those posts were deleted. Then another one of "your people" was welcomed into the group and all he had to say was that he wanted us to know he had reported the group to Facebook as a "hate speech" site. It's absolutely bizarre....you folks are like a swarm of horseflys with your statistics and nitpicking. I am doing a little study on a psychological phenomenon known as "the victim mentality." You might want to look into something like that yourself Merv. If anyone was acting like a bully in our group, it was you and your usual sidemen.
Ed Note, Another ad hominum attack just like you argued against. Bill we have no side men, I raised serious issues with details and back up information. The appropriate thing would have been to address ddirectly the issues I raised. Please do not demonize me by association.
As if that wasn't enough reading -
Comment by Merv Ritchie on 14th October 2012
In our provocative section found in the drop down menu, "Off the wall" you will find more writings which attempt to address the root cause of this problem.
Look for these titles;
WHEN REASON IS UNREASONABLE AND LOGIC IS ILLOGICAL
HYPOCRITES FROM THE SEVENTIES, EIGHTIES AND NINETIES
AS YOU WATCH THE WEEK LONG 911 MEMORIAL REMEMBER THE ANTHRAX
NORWAY AND ARIZONA REVEAL THE RESULT OF DECEPTION
Enjoy, maybe a book will be published soon.
Historys Greatest Bully
Comment by Danny Nunes on 13th October 2012
Sad fact is you will never solve this issue because in a nutshell when you really think about it a huge segment of our society and its beliefs and so called morals are instilled by historys greatest bully....God.
Do as I say and command or I will send you to an eternal torment of fire, pain & agony...forever and ever until the end of time.
But he loves you!
Oh deities...the one construct of man that never ceases to amuse and contradict century after century.