CONTRIBUTION · 18th February 2013
A student in Terrace
Here is a question for everyone. If we are all concerned about bullies and no one thinks they are a bully, how could we design a test? What type of quiz could we use to have each of us look at ourselves to see if we actually are, or are not, a bully from another person perspective?
One person might not see another as having a ‘Bully” personality, while another person might easily determine they did.
Therefore I have come up with an easy test. It may not be the best and it is most certainly not all inclusive.
But this is for everyone individually to apply to themselves, therefore I will be composing this for the first person, you.
When you encounter someone you find disagreeable, do you still smile and say hello? If not you might reflect on how you might be perceived. You could easily be seen as a bully. Do you turn away refusing to even say hello?
When chatting with friends do you talk about others, behind their back, who do not agree with your positions on issues? Do you discuss the person and their activities without talking directly to them? If you were on the receiving end of this, (the person being talked about) would you not see those critiquing (maybe laughing about you), as bullies?
The test then is to determine if you, on your own, can walk up without reservations to someone who does not think like you, and have a pleasant conversation. If you cannot approach an adversary, someone who is opposed to your position on any issue, and engage is polite and honest debate, you are likely the bully.
It is a difficult position to understand, however one must consider the implications of not being able to speak to another person without hostility.
Anger, the inability to engage in a polite conversation demonstrates a personal problem.
Today we all need to consider how we deal with each other. Some of our friends take their own lives. This is serious. And many do not understand their own part in the tragedy.
Can you walk up to anyone and look them in the eyes and have a conversation without judgement. Can you honestly share time with everyone in your community and not feel animosity?
If not, look in the mirror, you are likely the bully.
Weak versus the powerful
Comment by david dickinson on 19th February 2013
"The test then is to determine if you, on your own, can walk up without reservations to someone who does not think like you, and have a pleasant conversation. If you cannot approach an adversary, someone who is opposed to your position on any issue, and engage is polite and honest debate, you are likely the bully."
OR maybe you don't want to have a conversation with the person because you are in a position of weakness while the other person is in a position of power. Now the person with all the power is the "victim" while the person with no power is the "bully." How convenient for those who wield power without constraint.