CONTRIBUTION · 31st March 2011
Consciousness - the time between naps.
Accountant - someone you hire to explain that you didn't make the money you did.
Wedding - a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Justice - a decision in your favor.
Paradox - two physicians.
Court of law - the place where a suit is pressed and a man can be taken to the cleaners.
Flattery - an insult in gift wrapping.
Alimony - the cost of loving
Capitalism - the survival of the fattest.
Impeccable: having immunity to woodpeckers.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
A born loser: Somebody who calls the telephone number that's scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall -- and his wife answers.